since i dont use fictionpress anymore

what are you thinking about?”

 My attention turned from the moonlit water as my thoughts were scattered by the angelic voice that had come to haunt my dreams.

  I looked down into those deep hazelnut eyes that held so much more then she ever let on. The lucid vessels that I fell into everytime I dared look her way. My left hand absently brushed a stray hair from her face. Shifting her body, she nuzzled her head further into my lap but continued to hold my gaze.

 “What are you thinking about?” She repeated, her voice so soft, different then most days when her tongue dripped with sarcastic remarks. Biting my lip, I finally looked away concentrating hard on the water infront of us.
 “Stuff.”  Normally, I was gifted with words, always knowing exactly what to say. But not tonight.

 “Stuff?” I could hear the return of her smirk. “Come on now really.”

I looked again at her, my eyebrows raised playfully as I forced myself to stay cool. My right hand curled under hers, my thumb lightly tracing the side of her slender hand. Oh those hands, that sent shivers through my spine.

 “Cats, I’m thinking about cats.” I teased, hoping she’d get distracted.

 Here we lay, another night, our usual park bench. This park, on cold nights had become our usual haunt. Cold breezes gave us the excuse to cuddle close. Not together, but always together. It was a choatic confusion that I’d grown comfortable with. But her pressing question skated over dangerously thin ice. Naïve parts of me longed to just tell her, and while I was hardly the type of girl to be driven by logic, my mind knew better.

 “Cats huh? Pervert.” She laughed, and I just shook my head, keeping my silence. A silence that never screamed so loud.

 “What are you thinking about?” She was persistant tonight, and I was not entirely sure why. My breath caught, my heart stopped.

 “Fine, I’ll tell you. I was just thinking how crazy it is that someone like me has fallen so completely for someone like me. You drive me crazy and constantly push every button I have until I want to explode. But what I want more then anything is to kiss you passionately with everything I have. Hold you close every single night and tell you how truly beautiful I think you are. I was just thinking that it’s irrational and absurd, but beyond a reason why, I’m sincerely in love with you.”

 The look of horror on her face, even in my daydream brought me back.  Breathing still didn’t return, my lungs threatened to explode as I felt sure in that moment that she had read my thoughts. But after a long moment I finally sighed.

 “Believe me, you don’t want to know.”

Maybe it was a silly dreamer’s imagination but for an instance a sad look flashed through her eyes that broke my heart into pieces. For a moment it looked as though she might continue to question me but instead she closed her eyes and found her comfort in my lap.  I waited for her breathing to slow, until I was absolutely sure she was asleep before I gently brushed my lips against her hair.  Then I once again focused my attention on the moonlight reflecting off the lake.